Mocked by a Bird

I couldn't sleep that week. The mocking bird sang like an alarm all night. Twits and tweets, shrill trills, and odd hacking noises like a lawnmower coughing randomly sounded from the tree next to our window.

I had prayed for it to stop or at least fly away. I had gone in front of our house in my nightgown and bare feet. I yelled at it. I shot water at it with the garden hose. The tree was too high for my attacks to do much good. I even contemplated a plan on how to pull the hose up onto the bedroom balcony to get a better shot at the nuisance. But physics and hose length prevented me.
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It would have been fine if it had been repetitive and soothing like the crickets. But no, this bird randomly changed stations every few seconds, jarring me from sleep with its funky nonrhythmic blasts. In addition my husband snored here and there to fill in the blank spots while the bird took a break between sets.

My allergies had kicked up with springtime blossoms. I must admit I too was snoring for the lack of ability to breathe properly. I'd fall asleep and then wake make self with my own snoring or suffocating, depending how you look at it. It was a awful thing to have inherited from my parents, loud snoring.

On family vacations I could not sleep for the immense roars and snorts from the other bed. I'd begged for my own room but they would never indulged me on that desire. It was when I went away to college I found out I too had the gift for make loud noises in my sleep. Fortunately it was something that was seasonal. My husband was forgiving and learned to nudged me so I could breath properly and quietly.

Now as I lay awake listening to the mockingbird trill its repertoire I noticed the similarity. The sputtering sound it made was vaguely familiar. The repeated sputtering and croaks at top volume stabbed my ears every few minutes. My husbands gentle snoring continued next to me, oblivious to the racket outside the window. I thought back to those miserable sleepless vacation nights sharing the hotel room with my parents. I realized something dreadful.

The mockingbird was mocking me. I was being kept awake by my the sound of my own snoring.

That annoying bird had been listening to my horrible allergy season snoring and was playing it back for me. Oh joy.

I began taking allergy meds in the evening. Squirted and shook the lower tree branches liberally each evening, and made sure the windows were all securely closed despite my husbands desire for fresh air while he sleeps. With his source of material cut off and someone constanly shaking his tree; my buddy soon switched to the neighbor's tree and began singing proper remakes of bird tunes.

It was still annoying at 2 am, but not as humiliating.